Lose You to Find Me Summary: Queer Coming-of-Age Romance
TL;DR: Quick Snapshot
Tommy Dees has a plan. The high school senior works as a server at Sunset Estates, a retirement community in southeastern Pennsylvania, and he needs a recommendation letter from his intimidating manager to apply to La Mère Labont, the culinary school his late father once attended.
Then Gabriel De La Hoya is hired at the same community.
Gabe was Tommy’s first childhood crush, and he vanished six years earlier without explanation.
Erik J. Brown’s Lose You to Find Me follows Tommy as he balances strict workplace demands, baking ambitions, and confusing feelings for someone who may not remember him at all.
- Protagonist: Tommy Dees, an aspiring pastry chef and high school senior.
- Central relationship: Gabe De La Hoya, Tommy’s childhood camp crush, who returns with a boyfriend and unresolved family trauma.
- Key conflict: Tommy must satisfy his manager Natalie’s demands while navigating Gabe’s mixed signals and his own hidden relationships.
- Core themes: Identity, grief, first love, found community, and recovery after a life-changing accident.
- Ending note: Tommy ends up on a different path than planned, with a new romantic partner and a genuine friendship with Gabe.
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Characters In This Book
| Character | Role |
|---|---|
| Thomas “Tommy” Dees | Seventeen-year-old narrator and server at Sunset Estates who wants to attend La Mère Labont culinary school. |
| Gabriel “Gabe” De La Hoya | Tommy’s childhood camp friend and first crush, hired as a server trainee at Sunset Estates. |
| Ava | Tommy’s best friend, accepted early into Johns Hopkins for bioengineering, who considers a gap year. |
| Brad Waldorf | High school hockey player who hooks up with Tommy in secret and later comes out publicly. |
| Natalie | Floor manager at Sunset Estates who agrees to write Tommy a recommendation letter under strict conditions. |
| Chef Roni | Head chef at Sunset Estates who mentors Tommy and tests him on the kitchen line. |
| Alvin “Al” Turner | Eccentric elderly resident at Sunset Estates who flirts with staff and gives Tommy advice. |
| Willa Vaughn | Resident and companion to Al who shares her history of patience in love with Tommy. |
| Victor “Vic” | Gabe’s older, controlling boyfriend who retaliates after Gabe breaks up with him. |
| Sandra Dees | Tommy’s mother and activities director at Sunset Estates. |
| James | Kitchen support worker known for assigning nicknames and starting butter brawls. |
| Morgan | Formal dining room host and protective friend to Tommy and Ava. |
| Judge Carol Fredericks | Influential resident in the formal dining room who is secretly Chef Roni’s mother. |
| Dante | Sous chef at Sunset Estates. |
| George | Senior administrative manager at Sunset Estates. |
| Grant Feldman | Film student and Oscar’s Ice Cream worker who edits Tommy’s application video. |
| Kevin | Gabe’s close friend from Archbishop Murphy who helps with the sting operation against Vic. |
| Luke, Connor, Bryce, Emma C., Emma G., Mackenzie, Katie | Fellow student servers and staff at Sunset Estates. |
Lose You to Find Me Summary: The Full Story
Spoilers ahead.
Erik J. Brown’s Lose You to Find Me follows Tommy Dees, a high school senior and server at Sunset Estates, a retirement community in southeastern Pennsylvania. He wants a recommendation letter from his floor manager, Natalie, to apply to La Mère Labont, the culinary school his late father attended.
Natalie agrees to write the letter if Tommy trains new servers, keeps every resident satisfied under her rule never to say “no,” and passes an unannounced test. When Gabriel De La Hoya is hired as a trainee, Tommy recognizes him as his first childhood crush from summer camp.
Gabe initially acts as though he has never met Tommy. The two nonetheless rebuild a close bond through shared shifts, late-night phone calls about films, and swapped media recommendations.
Gabe eventually admits he remembered Tommy all along and was too embarrassed to say so. He also reveals he has a boyfriend named Vic, though he describes the relationship as complicated.
Gabe confides that his family rejected his identity after a traumatic outing incident during his sophomore year. Tommy’s feelings deepen despite the boundary, and he and Gabe share a kiss.
Meanwhile, Tommy’s best friend Ava is accepted early to Johns Hopkins for bioengineering but wants a gap year. Tommy reacts with judgment, creating a temporary rift between them.
Tommy also maintains a secret physical relationship with Brad Waldorf, a closeted hockey player. Brad uses their hookups to cope with his own fear of coming out.
Tommy discovers that Natalie is Gabe’s aunt. Overwhelmed by Gabe’s mixed signals, Vic’s passive-aggressive presence, and his pending college application, Tommy reaches a breaking point during a kitchen shift.
While arguing with Gabe over his indecisiveness and Vic, Tommy’s hand slips while chopping lemons with a heavy chef’s knife. The accident amputates his left ring and pinky fingers.
After emergency surgery and reattachment using leech therapy, Tommy faces months away from work. His application plans fall into disarray.
In the hospital, Tommy comes out to his mother, Sandra, who responds with unconditional love. Natalie visits with completed OSHA forms and a high-praise recommendation letter for La Mère.
Natalie reveals her third challenge had been to test Tommy on the line with Chef Roni. She notes that Gabe had been happier when working alongside Tommy.
Tommy reconciles with Ava and supports her gap year decision. His friends—Ava, James, Morgan, Kevin, and Grant—along with Chef Roni, gather after hours in the Sunset Estates kitchen.
They film a supplemental cooking video featuring a gourmet Baked Alaska. Gabe breaks up with Vic after recognizing his manipulative behavior.
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In retaliation, Vic sends screencaps and misleading explicit media to Gabe’s conservative family and friends. Tommy and the Sunset Estates crew stage a sting operation.
They lure Vic into buying alcohol for underage James on video and use it as leverage. Vic is forced to leave Gabe alone, and the group vandalizes his car with butter, eggs, and pickled pigs’ feet.
Gabe and Tommy clear the air and establish a friendship as “allies” without romantic expectations. La Mère Labont sends its admissions decision, and Tommy learns he has been rejected.
Tommy realizes he was pursuing the school to fulfill his father’s unfinished legacy rather than his own desires. He has been accepted to all his backup programs, including Johnson & Wales University in Providence, Rhode Island, and accepts his spot there.
At senior prom, Brad Waldorf comes out publicly and dances with Tommy in front of their classmates. Brad reveals he has been accepted to Brown University, also in Providence, and asks Tommy on a formal date.
The book closes in mid-June at Gabe’s graduation party. Tommy, Brad, Ava, Gabe, and their friends celebrate together, enjoying the present and looking toward their futures.
Is Lose You to Find Me Right for You?
This book may appeal to readers who enjoy YA contemporary romance with queer protagonists and coming-of-age arcs. The story blends workplace comedy, culinary detail, and emotional family dynamics.
Readers who prefer fast-paced, snarky narration with chapter-level humor and cinematic references may find the tone accessible. Those looking for a straightforward romance without complicated relationship dynamics may find the Gabe storyline less satisfying.
The narrative includes themes of coming out, family rejection, manipulative relationships, and a traumatic physical injury. The pacing is linear and structured around seasonal high school milestones and workplace shifts.
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Book Snapshot: Lose You to Find Me
- Genre & Subgenre: Young Adult Fiction / Contemporary Romance / Queer Romance / Coming-of-Age
- Core Narrative Tropes: Childhood Crush Reunited, Workplace Drama, Subverted Second-Chance Romance, Secret Hookups to Public Romance, Culinary Ambition, Closet Trajectory and Coming Out
- Tone & Atmosphere: Witty, snarky, conversational, humorous, emotionally vulnerable, bittersweet, and warmhearted
- Primary Conflict: Tommy’s idealization of Gabe versus the reality of Gabe’s baggage and relationship status, alongside the external conflict of satisfying Natalie’s demands while recovering from a career-threatening injury
- Pacing Style: Linear chronological narrative structured around seasonal high school milestones and workplace shifts
- ISBN: 978-0063055025 (ISBN-10: 0063055023)
- Pages: 368
- Book Structure: 47 numbered chapters, preceded by a Prologue and an initial “Chapter One (again)” framing, concluded by Acknowledgments and endmatter
- Publisher: Storytide
- Publication Date: May 16, 2023
